Do So Fa So La So

Sing that on a "doo doo doo". The X-Files theme song. The absolute best theme song that ever existed which is fitting seeing as how The X-Files was one of the best television shows to ever exist. That ethereal tune invokes a feeling of suspense and allows one to forget their predisposed skepticism to the existence of extra terrestrial biological entities (if they had any). Mulder and Scully represent one of the best dynamics of a television pair that I have ever seen.

Weird Side-Note- Spellcheck underlined the name "Scully", but didn't underline the name "Mulder".
Weirder Side-Note- Spellcheck underlined the word "Spellcheck".

Hyperbole is amazing. It is absolutely the greatest thing that has ever existed. I would cry tears that would fill a thousand lakes were it to disappear. I mean, what would we do without it? I suppose we would all cease to communicate; we would go completely mute.

I find myself unable to sleep until I have written a blog post. This is very fortunate when you consider that I usually don't remember to post until after I have gotten into bed. I believe I mentioned the "Oh crap" moment I always have in a previous post. What I didn't mention was how I always get there. You see, I always think about weird things in bed. Like that hyperbole thing I wrote earlier. When I thought of that, I also thought, "I should post that in my blog," which of course made me realize that I hadn't written it yet. And that inevitably lead to my "Oh crap".

I enjoy an abrupt ending.

Yours truly,
Simon

Just Shoot the Panda and Get Out

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.
"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. 
"I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.


Now, I'm not perfect (Shocker), but I like to think that I try. I try to have good grammar. The majority of my mistakes can be accredited to my terrible typing abilities. I make mistakes, but I try and I learn. Just try.


Well, I'm in a bad mood. I'm sick (as I ranted about in my last entry) and I'm pretty sure I've lost about ten pounds in mucus alone. I think tomorrow will be better.


Grammar matters,
Simon

The Strep

I blame the two of you who shall remain anonymous! Not for any real reason, but just because I don't feel like writing out your names. The two of you gave me The Strep and I will never forgive you! I just vomited, not because I am sick, just because I thought of the two of you! I have a strange hope that I will get others sick. I guess my new name is Misery and I am getting kind of lonely.

As some of you may remember, I am unsure about whether or not I like the television show House. Well, I was watching the television show The Simpsons and on the television show on the television show The Simpsons called Itchy and Scratchy, they parodied the television show House with a television show called Mouse (Itchy is a mouse and Scratchy is a cat). I hope I didn't lose you with that last sentence. Anyway, it was hilarious and made me like the television show House a little more because I wouldn't have gotten the reference had I not seen it before.

Short because I said I would write two posts today,
Simon

Phoning Dr. Blogpost.

Phoning in that is. I'm sick and very tired. Post twice tomorrow.

Ugh,
Simon

Finally I Can Sleep... Oh Crap.

Friday. Thank goodness it exists. Thank goodness that today is Friday. These are the things I would be saying if I didn't have costume fittings tomorrow. Tomorrow in the morning. 8:00 in the morning to be exact. Worst of all, I can't even go home until that afternoon because I have a choir car wash (which actually isn't for choir and I shouldn't have signed up to do because it benefits me in no way and it doesn't even benefit our High School Choir) after it. All in all, my Saturday schedule shows my lack of a life.

On to happier things. I only have ten days left to blog every single day. Yay! Now I know, you're thinking, "Oh no, I only get to read Simon's super-awesome blog for ten more days! Now what am I supposed to do with my life that clearly doesn't have any more merit than his?" Don't fret. I think that I'll make a new blog after the thirtieth that is a little more lax (in that I don't have to write in it every day).

I'm really worried I will eventually hate driving. Okay, I know that most people don't continue to love driving once it becomes something that they are required to do, but I kind of hope that I'll be different. I mean, right now I just love driving and I always want to do it. But, I am still afraid I will lose interest.

I think that "avoision" should be a word. Let me clarify, the word avoid means to stay away from completely. If I avoid someone, than in my ideal situation I stay away from that person completely. In order to evade someone, they have to be actively pursuing me first. The word avoid means one thing and the word evade means another. However, there is only the word "evasion" and no word "avoision". Annoying.

An avalanche of aggravating, arbitrary, and asinine alliteration,
Simon 

A Man Who Fears No One.

So, I was driving down the road today and I.... wait.... I can drive? Yes, I have a license. This, naturally, makes me very happy. However, I feel a sense of great responsibility. I equate this responsibility to what the fictional characters Spiderman, Harry Potter, and James Bond felt. Seeing as how there were more than 42,000 fatalities as a direct result of car accidents in 2009, I have essentially just been given a license to kill. What scares me more than anything else isn't that I have a license; it's that other people have them. People are stupid. Despite this fact, getting a license is extremely easy. You aren't tested on your ability to avoid an accident or foresee problems. Heck, you don't even have to know how to read (which might be kind of important because of, you know, road signs). I don't understand why we allow so many idiots on the road. If bad drivers weren't allowed to drive, we wouldn't have to be especially defensive. If everyone on the road was intelligent, cautious, and took what they were doing seriously then we wouldn't have to worry about someone "Coming out of nowhere" because everyone would be very aware of each other. The world would be a much better place.

But it isn't. So, who really cares?

Mythbusters is one of the greatest things that has ever existed. It is certainly one of the greatest shows on television. This show has helped me come to a sad realization: I would make an awful scientist. I always root for the myth to be confirmed. Oftentimes, I will mentally skew the evidence in an effort to lend more credence to the myth. Well, who needs unbiased observation anyway?

Look out on those roads Arizonans (not for me, for the other nutcases),
Simon

Phantoms on the Face

About a month ago I switched from glasses to contacts. I thought that it would be difficult for me to, you know, stick my finger in my eye, but it wasn't. The only strange thing about having contacts in is that I constantly forget that I have contacts in. I often find myself reaching up to clean my glasses only to realize that they aren't there. This reminded me of something I'd heard about that happened to people who had lost limbs. These people would sometimes feel a pain in the arm that they no longer had. This certainly makes one rethink why and how we feel things. It's interesting.

Everyone is gone. It's really strange. I mean, I knew that everyone was leaving for college, but I didn't think that they would actually leave for college. I guess I just always figured that they would still be hanging around even though they had no reason to and that it would make things uncomfortable for others if they did. It just kind of stinks.

I miss having a good book to read. I mean, I don't think that I have any time to read one, but I wish that I could. I feel like I'm happiest when I have a book, or preferably a book series to read.

Feelin' tired,
Simon