Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Admitting Ignorance

I have a confession to make: I don't know how to end my blog. I mean, it has to be cool. Sure, there have been a couple of things that I have been saving, but they aren't nearly enough. I guess what I'm trying to do here is lower your expectations. It's like when a politician that is a great debater makes it seem like he has very little experience in debating before a huge debate. I'm not saying that I'm lying to you or anything like that, I'm simply cautioning you from getting your hopes up.

Well, as you all know this is my last post for this blog. Today marks the last day of BEDA orBlog Every Day August . However, tomorrow marks the first day of BOTTY or Blog Occasionally Throughout The Year. So, if I were you I would be looking forward to that.

Weird random unrelated thing: Is the world "Realtor" pronounced "Reeltuhr" as in "Real+tuhr" or "Reeltohr" as in "Real+tore"? I have always done the first (Reeltuhr), however I just saw a commercial and they said the second (Reeltohr).

Between 9:31am and 9:35am on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays I have to pee. I think this has to do with my drinking problem. You see, my only way of getting by in Chorale is by drinking... a lot... of water. I mean, you can't completely blame me. The entire choir acts as an enabler. It would be totally fine, but I have become dependent upon this way of coping. As with everything else, I blame the bass section (and F.D.R).

You know, some movies are just ridiculous. I mean, you can usually expect that even a good movie will have some gratuitous violence, romance, or comedy. However, there are some movies that contain nothing but that. It really amuses me to see their previews.

There are some things that really annoy me that I kind of miss. For example, one of my friends used to call me in the middle of the night which would really annoy me when I was sleeping (which wasn't often). However, I now go to sleep at night (occasionally). So, whenever they call I am asleep and, since school has started, I need to sleep and don't answer.

All's mediocre that ends mediocre,

Monday, August 30, 2010

Now How Did That Happen?

I found myself in a strange situation today. It wasn't a bad situation nor was it a situation I didn't want to be in, it was simply strange. It was one of those times when you say, "How on earth did this happen?" because the path to that situation was extremely convoluted. I engaged in a theological and philosophical discussion with a friend of mine. This, in and of itself, wasn't strange, the strange thing was that we moved from deciding what one-act plays we were going to direct, to discussing our love lives, to discussing religion and politics. I heartily enjoyed each segment of this long conversation, however it was certainly a weird conversation.

I think that there are certain moments of my life that, if seen by others, would be subject to a great deal of mockery. Take today for example, I had scarcely lain down in bed when the thought that I have spoken about before struck me, "Oh crap, I have to write a blog post today!" I rushed out of bed and began searching for my laptop. I didn't see it in my room, my sister's room, or the living room. Just as I began freaking out, I looked in my room again. I found it. It was sitting less than a foot from my bed that I had leapt out of to search for it. Really?

I have a strange problem. I have too many cool things. This may sound like a pretty good problem to have, but trust me it is frustrating. I have so many awesome posters and things on my wall that I don't have room for any new ones. I feel like people no longer notice some of the coolest things hanging in my room simply because I have so many things hanging in my room. A friend of mine recently gave me two really cool things to hang in my room. I am really excited to find a place for them, but I am also disappointed that they won't get the prime real estate locations.

The Steven Paig album, which contains the song that is the inspiration for my blog's name, is coming out soon! Okay, by soon I mean in about three weeks, but anyone who has similar taste in music as me (which, in case you were wondering, is awesome music) should get it. I am really excited to see this artist let loose now that he is no longer tied down to a band. I think it will be amazing. I also think that the single shows exactly what BNL is missing out on now that Steven is gone.

I finished my post in five minutes. Now how did that happen?

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Artistic Arsenic.

Radio is the stupidest thing created. Okay, nuclear bombs aren't that great. I guess television serves little to no purpose. However, the radio is pretty stupid. First of all, the songs played are played because the stations have statistics saying that the majority of people like them. In fact, it's not even that people like them; it's that people can stand them. The radio is meant to be tolerable and nothing more. It destroys bands that actually have a lot of talent because nobody has heard of them. It makes the masses share a taste in music because they don't know anything else. In the words of Sondre Lerche (who I have never heard on the radio), "I'd sell my soul Payola Dole". This is the mindset of most of the "artists" on the radio.

Okay, I know that I have spoken about this maybe one too many times on this blog, but House is an interesting television show. If this blog shows anything, it shows that it took me a month to get over a judgment that I made about this show a long time ago. The thing that amuses and intrigues me about House, is that I can watch a kid die in order to save his brother and only feel kind of sad, but when Dr. House cares about a dog and that dog gets taken away I think, "Wow, he is human," and find it far more touching.

I really wish that I was folksy. I mean, folksy people have it made in the shade. Well, not the shade so much as the scorching heat that accompanies their long days of manual labor. Their accents are awesome and if they show so much as a smidgen of intelligence, then everyone around them feels bad for assuming they're stupid and then assumes that they are far more intelligent than they are. Not only that, I am told that they ride horses.

It amazes me how different some people sound on the computer. I have been told that I have a "Phone voice", but it really seems like nothing when you compare it to other people's "Computer voice". There is one person in particular that simply amazed me with what they say on Facebook. This person is one of the quietest people you will ever meet, however their statuses and comments tend to be long and include large amounts of capitalization. I suppose it is an outlet for them.

I'm not receiving you,

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Oh Wait, I Really Don't Care.

As I am sure you all realized, I forgot to blog last night. You remember when I wrote about how I always have one of those "Oh Crap" moments every night and then I remember to blog? Well, that didn't happen yesterday. I'm not upset. I thought I should be at first, but then I remembered that this is just a stupid blog. I'm not doing this because I want to blog every day or because I want other people to have some new understanding of me, I'm doing this for myself. So, if you actually care (which none of the couple of people who actually read my blog will), than I don't really care about that either.

I figured something out the other day when I was walking down the street. It was on of those moments that you always see on television when a character suddenly realizes some simple truth. An epiphany, really. I always thought that I admired and disliked traits about myself that reminded me of others. However, the other day I realized that it is actually the other way around. I admire people who exemplify qualities that I admire about myself and dislike people who show qualities that I don't like about myself. This shows me that people who dislike me simply dislike themselves and are too afraid to admit it. This is, of course, assuming that others judge in the same manner.

Stephen Colbert is a genius. Not only is he really smart, he is also incredibly hilarious and very charismatic. I think that all politicians should be like Stephen Colbert. If every politician knew as much as Colbert, cared as much as Colbert, and had such an astonishing understanding of the opposition's point of view, then our political system would be much better. The only downside I can foresee is that we might not know if a candidate is being ironic.

I survived the crazy hail storm tech day of 2010. Let me explain, I was at a tech day for our high school play today. I got there around ten thirty and planned to leave around five which was when the tech day ended. It was about four thirty and we were cleaning up. I carried something that was outside in the parking lot inside. About ten seconds later, I walked back towards the door and saw the craziest thing ever. Hail and rain were pouring down from the skies. I swear, this storm came out of nowhere. It was the largest downpour that I have ever seen. People who were outside for about fifteen seconds came back inside drenched to the bone. It was awesome.

Even though I didn't blog every day, I still will have more than thirty by month's end,

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Shake a Leg.

So, I have this dance. One might go so far as to call it my "Happy Dance". I tend to think of it as my "Boredom Dance" or my "Offstage Dance". It is the one weird thing that I do. Okay, it's one of the many weird things that I do (that's right, I italicized all four of those words). So, it's basically a slide-tap heel tap heel tap slide heel tap ball-of-foot-tap heel tap heel tap slide. Okay, that probably made no sense at all. You kind of have to see it.

As I mentioned, it is one of the weird things that I do. Another weird thing is my way of walking. Okay, let me explain. I have different patterns that I use to walk at different areas of my high school. So, the path from the theatre room to the choir room I typically walk in a 2232 pattern. The numbers correspond to the number of steps I take within a divided slab of concrete. The pattern I use for the path from the stoplight to the theatre room is more of a 333343 pattern. Okay, this is getting boring. I'm going to move on.

I love it when my hair is perfect. It's very rare. This is probably due to the fact that my "perfect" hairstyle looks like it took no effort at all. This, surprisingly, takes a lot of effort. Sometimes I think that my friend, who for the sake of anonymity I will call "Johnny" even though that isn't his real name, might have the right idea by shaving his head. Of course, Johnny looked rather weird when it was really short.

I have a power over a friend of mine that I am really enjoying. This guy used to do something to me that was really annoying. However, I knew something that he wanted to know and I made him pinkie-promise that he would no longer do that annoying thing if I told him about it. He pinkie-promised. Now, he is often very tempted to do that thing to me, but he knows I will break his pinkie if he does. Such is the power of the pinkie-promise.

Bored to tears? Boo-hoo,

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


For those of you who don't know (which anyone who reads my blog will), I am in high school. I am also heavily involved in the theatre program at my high school. As a senior in our advanced theatre class (Advanced Pantomime and Characterization or APAC) I have been assigned to find, cast, and direct a one-act play. I have been searching everywhere and found quite a few things to choose from. However, there is one that stands out from the rest. For the sake of nobody in my class knowing the title of it, I shall simply refer to it as "Untitled". Now, "Untitled" is a great show that was actually written by "Unnamed Great Author" and adapted into a play by "Unnamed Adapter". The only reason I wouldn't do "Untitled", is that a fellow actor in a previous year senior directed a show very similar to it. Now, I loved their show. I thought it was incredible. However, I don't want anyone else to think, "Oh he is just copying 'Unnamed Senior Director' with his show," and think that "Untitled" is an unoriginal choice.

I need to sleep more. I don't sleep very much at all most nights. That problem has recently been exacerbated by the fact that I have been sick which makes it even more difficult to sleep.
Oh my gosh, in my last post I mocked people who were even lamer than people who like Twilight (I know it seems impossible, right?) CW6 has another crappy vampire television show called "Moonlight".
So back to my sleep, I find myself just thinking about weird things like if the world could just spontaneously implode, if everyone shares the same reality, and why anyone with intelligence would ever be a registered Democrat. I think that if I had the answers to all of these questions than I would be able to sleep. I guess the only solution is to continue lying awake at night and thinking about these things.

Well, I best be off to bed where I won't sleep,

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Like White On Rice.

So, I can't stand people. Okay, I can stand some people on a good day, but typically everyone annoys me to some degree. This means that I really can't stand it when people will not leave me alone. I mean, one of my favorite things in the world is solitude, therefore one of my least favorite things is having someone stick to me like white on rice. I shan't say who this person is, but they need to calm down. I mean, I guess they're okay as far as people go. They aren't a maniacal sociopath or anything. It's just that they have this annoying trait about them. That is that sometimes they can be really arrogant. So dude, humble yourself and leave me alone occasionally and we will get on famously.

Alright, so I have a friend who always says, "Who is this guy?" in a funny voice as a sort of catch phrase. It bothers me. It bothers me a lot. My solution to this problem is to over-use this same phrase around him as much as possible so that he will realize how annoying it is and stop doing it. I am therefore using it as a punchline to every joke.

You may be wondering why it is I just did that. Well, I told my friend Heather that I would so I did.

I think the only thing sadder than people who legitimately enjoy the book or movie Twilight, are people who enjoy the cheap CW6 Twilight knock-off. Vampire Diaries. Oh my word. The commercial on channel six actually tried to convince me that people were on "teams" for that show. Granted, I'm sure that the acting on the show is at the same level as the acting in the Twilight movie and the writing of the scripts was at roughly the same level as the writing in the book Twilight, but at least Twilight was original in its awful writing and acting. I mean, at least the topic is altered enough to not be seen as a knock-off of Nosferatu or anything. At least be creative in the thing that you use as an outlet for your lack of creativity.

Why did Johnny make me do it? I mean, who is this guy?

Monday, August 23, 2010

Do So Fa So La So

Sing that on a "doo doo doo". The X-Files theme song. The absolute best theme song that ever existed which is fitting seeing as how The X-Files was one of the best television shows to ever exist. That ethereal tune invokes a feeling of suspense and allows one to forget their predisposed skepticism to the existence of extra terrestrial biological entities (if they had any). Mulder and Scully represent one of the best dynamics of a television pair that I have ever seen.

Weird Side-Note- Spellcheck underlined the name "Scully", but didn't underline the name "Mulder".
Weirder Side-Note- Spellcheck underlined the word "Spellcheck".

Hyperbole is amazing. It is absolutely the greatest thing that has ever existed. I would cry tears that would fill a thousand lakes were it to disappear. I mean, what would we do without it? I suppose we would all cease to communicate; we would go completely mute.

I find myself unable to sleep until I have written a blog post. This is very fortunate when you consider that I usually don't remember to post until after I have gotten into bed. I believe I mentioned the "Oh crap" moment I always have in a previous post. What I didn't mention was how I always get there. You see, I always think about weird things in bed. Like that hyperbole thing I wrote earlier. When I thought of that, I also thought, "I should post that in my blog," which of course made me realize that I hadn't written it yet. And that inevitably lead to my "Oh crap".

I enjoy an abrupt ending.

Yours truly,

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Just Shoot the Panda and Get Out

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.
"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. 
"I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.

Now, I'm not perfect (Shocker), but I like to think that I try. I try to have good grammar. The majority of my mistakes can be accredited to my terrible typing abilities. I make mistakes, but I try and I learn. Just try.

Well, I'm in a bad mood. I'm sick (as I ranted about in my last entry) and I'm pretty sure I've lost about ten pounds in mucus alone. I think tomorrow will be better.

Grammar matters,

The Strep

I blame the two of you who shall remain anonymous! Not for any real reason, but just because I don't feel like writing out your names. The two of you gave me The Strep and I will never forgive you! I just vomited, not because I am sick, just because I thought of the two of you! I have a strange hope that I will get others sick. I guess my new name is Misery and I am getting kind of lonely.

As some of you may remember, I am unsure about whether or not I like the television show House. Well, I was watching the television show The Simpsons and on the television show on the television show The Simpsons called Itchy and Scratchy, they parodied the television show House with a television show called Mouse (Itchy is a mouse and Scratchy is a cat). I hope I didn't lose you with that last sentence. Anyway, it was hilarious and made me like the television show House a little more because I wouldn't have gotten the reference had I not seen it before.

Short because I said I would write two posts today,

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Phoning Dr. Blogpost.

Phoning in that is. I'm sick and very tired. Post twice tomorrow.


Friday, August 20, 2010

Finally I Can Sleep... Oh Crap.

Friday. Thank goodness it exists. Thank goodness that today is Friday. These are the things I would be saying if I didn't have costume fittings tomorrow. Tomorrow in the morning. 8:00 in the morning to be exact. Worst of all, I can't even go home until that afternoon because I have a choir car wash (which actually isn't for choir and I shouldn't have signed up to do because it benefits me in no way and it doesn't even benefit our High School Choir) after it. All in all, my Saturday schedule shows my lack of a life.

On to happier things. I only have ten days left to blog every single day. Yay! Now I know, you're thinking, "Oh no, I only get to read Simon's super-awesome blog for ten more days! Now what am I supposed to do with my life that clearly doesn't have any more merit than his?" Don't fret. I think that I'll make a new blog after the thirtieth that is a little more lax (in that I don't have to write in it every day).

I'm really worried I will eventually hate driving. Okay, I know that most people don't continue to love driving once it becomes something that they are required to do, but I kind of hope that I'll be different. I mean, right now I just love driving and I always want to do it. But, I am still afraid I will lose interest.

I think that "avoision" should be a word. Let me clarify, the word avoid means to stay away from completely. If I avoid someone, than in my ideal situation I stay away from that person completely. In order to evade someone, they have to be actively pursuing me first. The word avoid means one thing and the word evade means another. However, there is only the word "evasion" and no word "avoision". Annoying.

An avalanche of aggravating, arbitrary, and asinine alliteration,

Thursday, August 19, 2010

A Man Who Fears No One.

So, I was driving down the road today and I.... wait.... I can drive? Yes, I have a license. This, naturally, makes me very happy. However, I feel a sense of great responsibility. I equate this responsibility to what the fictional characters Spiderman, Harry Potter, and James Bond felt. Seeing as how there were more than 42,000 fatalities as a direct result of car accidents in 2009, I have essentially just been given a license to kill. What scares me more than anything else isn't that I have a license; it's that other people have them. People are stupid. Despite this fact, getting a license is extremely easy. You aren't tested on your ability to avoid an accident or foresee problems. Heck, you don't even have to know how to read (which might be kind of important because of, you know, road signs). I don't understand why we allow so many idiots on the road. If bad drivers weren't allowed to drive, we wouldn't have to be especially defensive. If everyone on the road was intelligent, cautious, and took what they were doing seriously then we wouldn't have to worry about someone "Coming out of nowhere" because everyone would be very aware of each other. The world would be a much better place.

But it isn't. So, who really cares?

Mythbusters is one of the greatest things that has ever existed. It is certainly one of the greatest shows on television. This show has helped me come to a sad realization: I would make an awful scientist. I always root for the myth to be confirmed. Oftentimes, I will mentally skew the evidence in an effort to lend more credence to the myth. Well, who needs unbiased observation anyway?

Look out on those roads Arizonans (not for me, for the other nutcases),

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Phantoms on the Face

About a month ago I switched from glasses to contacts. I thought that it would be difficult for me to, you know, stick my finger in my eye, but it wasn't. The only strange thing about having contacts in is that I constantly forget that I have contacts in. I often find myself reaching up to clean my glasses only to realize that they aren't there. This reminded me of something I'd heard about that happened to people who had lost limbs. These people would sometimes feel a pain in the arm that they no longer had. This certainly makes one rethink why and how we feel things. It's interesting.

Everyone is gone. It's really strange. I mean, I knew that everyone was leaving for college, but I didn't think that they would actually leave for college. I guess I just always figured that they would still be hanging around even though they had no reason to and that it would make things uncomfortable for others if they did. It just kind of stinks.

I miss having a good book to read. I mean, I don't think that I have any time to read one, but I wish that I could. I feel like I'm happiest when I have a book, or preferably a book series to read.

Feelin' tired,

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


Have you ever felt really bad for someone? I have. I do, in fact. This person is someone who is completely cut off from everyone else. This isn't because of anything major, it's because he/she (I did the he/she for the sake of anonymity not because this person's gender is in question. Although, for the sake of anonymity, I can't say that their gender isn't in question) is no longer friends with another person whose company is preferred by most. Their friendship ended quietly and without any large argument. Neither party deserved any more of the blame than the other. Despite this, almost everyone remained friends with one of the people and stopped being friends with the other. Therefore, I feel bad for her/him (please note how I switched the order of genders so as not to appear misogynistic).

What is the deal with Julia Roberts? I mean, she is very beautiful and quite a talented actor, but I still don't think that she is attractive. This isn't to say that she is unattractive, but she still just doesn't seem that great. She especially seems rather sub-par as far as celebrities go. I will say this for her though, she hasn't gotten nor will she get a face-lift or anything similar. So, I think that she is pretty, consider her talented and smart, and respect her convictions, but she still doesn't seem attractive to me.

I don't care about evolution. I know that, for some people, this is an area in which religion and science seem to be unable to coexist. I don't think this is true. I mean, nobody (or at least nobody with a brain) is disputing that evolution has taken place. The only thing that isn't agreed upon is how life came to be. But, I think that with all of our contemplation of the big and seemingly important questions like "Where do we come from?" and "How did we get here?" we have forgotten the ever-important question of "Who cares?". Alright, I know that for the sake of furthering our knowledge these questions are very important, but I don't think that they are worth fighting over. When we all agree on so much, why don't we use our efforts to finding the answers we don't completely know rather than quibble over that which we disagree on. I know what I believe and I'm sure that everyone else knows what they believe, so why not take what we agree upon and move forward on common ground? I guess people just get too wrapped up in the need to be right and have others acknowledge the fact that they are right. Oh people.

Every day I do a little dance (Please tell me that none of you started singing a song by KC and the Sunshine Band in your head). This dance is called, "Oh Crap, I Have a Blog to Write". I usually do this dance around 9:00 pm because that is when I get into bed and think, "There was something I was supposed to do," until I realize that I have a blog to write. After that, I do another little dance called, "Writing Something in My Blog," which is now over.

Yours truly,

Monday, August 16, 2010

i aM peeVeD!!

I loathe the MVD. For those of you who don't know what MVD stands for, it's Motivation for Violent Destruction. No wait, it's Malevolent Vicious Dictators. Sorry, third time's the charm, it's Motor Vehicle Department. About a month ago I passed my driving test. I had done some stuff with a driving school to lower my insurance and at the end of the course I passed a driving test with them. All I had to do was pick up my license from the MVD. Therein lies the problem. The MVD is evil and that means that the process of getting my license (which should have taken maybe fifteen minutes) took two-and-a-half weeks This was mainly due to the fact that I had rehearsals for our play every single weekday until 4:45 pm and the MVD is only open weekdays from 8:00-5:00. This in and of itself does not make them evil. What does is the fact that today, when I had no rehearsal and had ample time to get to the MVD and pick up my license, they informed me that I needed both of my parents there in order to get my license. For those of you worrying about getting yours in the future, this is only because my parents are divorced and have joint custody of me. They informed me of this at 4:55 after I had filled out all of the necessary paperwork. In short, I didn't get my license today. UGH!

On to better things. As many of you who actually bother to read my blog will know, I am home-schooled. I attend Chandler High School for my elective subjects only. This means that I have not taken a "normal" class at Chandler High in about two-and-a-half years. I forgot something. I love being smug. I love being that annoying kid in class who knows the answer and makes sure that everybody else knows that they know the answer. You see, I am taking our schools ToK (Theory of Knowledge) class this year as one of my electives. This class is a necessary requirement for the I.B. Diploma. Of course, I'm just taking it for kicks. now, everyone in that class is pretty smart. Heck, a lot of them are much smarter than I am. However, it still feels nice to know something sometimes.

I sometimes wonder if the criminal justice system works like it does on television. I mean, I have never seen any kind of cop show, lawyer show, or show that combines the two (i.e. Law and Order) that does not include an ending in which there is no doubt in the viewers mind about the defendant's innocence or guilt. I really wonder if cops get as much evidence in real life as they do on television. I also wonder if lawyers create as good an argument for their clients in real life as they do on television. Somehow, I just don't think so.'

Woefully still needing a permit,

Sunday, August 15, 2010


Okay, I know this is nothing. I know that this is totally meaningless. I know that there are a lot of things that make much more sense to obsess over, but I am obsessing over this. I sang "Ndo" in choir the other day. Alright, for those of you not in chorale, let me explain. We often sing solfege (do, re, mi, etc) in choir. On friday, Ms. Lyford (our choir director) was all over this girl for singing "Ndo" instead of "Do". It happens when you put your tongue against the roof of your mouth and begin singing. This creates the "nnn" sound which you then turn into a "Do". And thus "Ndo" is created. Normally, singing "Ndo" isn't that big of a deal. For instance, when Ms. Lyford noticed this girl singing "Ndo" she told her and the girl corrected it. However, Friday wasn't any normal day. We were recording ourselves singing a simple solfege tune so that Ms. Lyford could test out her new recording devices and listen to how our voices sounded alone. I wasn't really sweating the recording thing. After all, the recording thing wasn't really something to sweat. I knew the solfege tune really well and it was really easy. I sauntered in to the practice room and prepared to sing the tune. I opened my mouth and sang "Ndo mi sol mi do". I noticed it and thought, "Crap!" which threw me off. I sang all of the right pitches with all of the right beats for each one, but I didn't sing it well. I made several other mistakes similar to my "Ndo" and I noticed them and they threw me off even more. Now, I still sang it pretty well. Not great and not as well as I could have, but pretty well. Nevertheless, it has been bugging me.

On to other things. There was a Mythbusters marathon on today which made me very happy. I had seen all of the episodes before, but it was still fun to watch. They have, without a doubt, the best jobs in the world. They get to be on t.v., do what they love, and, best of all, blow things up on almost every single episode.With they're knowledge of explosives, I would be very surprised if the F.B.I doesn't have a large file on them.

I really love those paper fortune teller things. They were never right, but they were fun to make. Also, if you got an answer you didn't like, you could always just ask the same question again and again until you got the answer you wanted. Maybe making those things is what made me like making paper cranes.

To sum up,

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Lilac Wine

Okay, Jeff Buckley is awesome. Two of my friends (who shall remain nameless) disagree with this statement. But, they're wrong. If you want proof, just listen to the song Hallelujah as performed by Jeff Buckley. If you still aren't convinced, listen to Lilac Wine and  Lover, You Should Have Come Over. The end.

The end of that paragraph. Not of my post.

Those of you who consistently read my blog might remember me posting yesterday about how I wish I had too much time on my hands. I take that back. Ironically, today I had nothing to do for a long period of time. It stunk. I had no schoolwork to work on, nothing to read, and nothing to watch on television. I tried twiddling my thumbs. It was boring. It was also surprisingly difficult to keep up.

Sometimes, I don't even hear people talking. I think it has to do with the fact that I am awful at multitasking. If I am involved with something, it is hard to focus on anything else. So, if you ever speak to me whilst I read, write, watch something, or appear to be thinking about something I probably won't hear you.

It's funny the look on people's faces when they are deep in thought. I'm sure it happens to me, but I love seeing it happen to others. Some people look as if they are reliving some horrible tragedy. Others look completely pensive as if they were hoping to learn the secrets of the universe as Buddha is said to have done. And still other look completely ridiculous. I swear I saw someone drooling once. The funny thing is that the person who looks as if they are reliving a terrible experience could be thinking of something hilarious, the person who seems to be in a contemplative state could just be an idiot thinking of nothing, and the person who looks foolish might be reviewing some concept that a lesser mind might find difficult to understand. I guess it just goes to show that appearances don't really mean anything.

That's all folks,

Friday, August 13, 2010

Everything is Unfin--

Too much time on my hands. How I wish I had too much time on my hands. I can't believe that there are people who actually think that is a problem. I mean, sometimes I really just have the urge to sit and twiddle my thumbs. However, anytime I try to do it I can't. Well, I can, but I always think of something more productive I could be doing and it bothers me until I go and do it.

I can't get used to those weird tabby things on top of the screen on a computer that allows me to open a new window. I typically don't remember that they're there until I have opened a second Mozilla the old fashioned way.

I really hate William Shatner (I just googled William Shatner to make sure I spelled his last name correctly. I remembered to use the tabby thing) His voice, acting, and attitude all annoy me. Granted, I have only seen him in a couple of television shows and movies and the vast majority of my knowledge of him comes from Priceline commercials.

Mashed potatoes are the best. They taste good in any situation. I could eat them with every meal and not get tired of them. All other forms of potatoes are gross.

Sometimes I think that---

Thursday, August 12, 2010

We Be Jammin'

So, today was the last time I will ever see Janessa Beyers! Okay, I'll probably see at her some point in our lives again. Still, it's too bad. But, I'm glad that we all had our last jam session (by "we all" I mean myself Janessa Jearvin and Marc). We had some good times and took some good pictures. The four of us have been through a lot together. We went to Slide Rock, the Devil's Bridge, and even just to Jearvin's house to eat fish with eyes. And of course, my bond with Janessa can't be broken because of one thing. She and I sat on Ms. Valin's roof together.

It was a warm summer's day. We traveled to the Valin residence to drop off Jared. Nobody was home. No witnesses. And so, Janessa and I climbed the wall of Valin's yard and then climbed atop her roof. Now, we never flew a kite there which is what I wanted to do but still, just being up there was enough. After that, we called Matt Huss and left a voicemail which he later responded to about what we had just done. We then went to Freestone Park and climbed trees. Oh, and we went ice blocking.

And though I will miss Janessa, it's a comfort to me to know that she will soon be in a better place. A place that few can imagine. A place where dreams come true. Some private college in Minnesota. Now, you may be thinking, "What is so great about Minnesota?" well, it's right below Canada. Therefore, it has to be pretty awesome.

I don't think you read my blog but, see you around Janessa (Hopefully!),

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Megabyte me.

I hate technology. I hate it so much. I hate the internet, I hate microwaves, and most of all, I hate computers. Those who invented the home computer were jerks. They made a product that was incredibly useful and that people want to use a lot. However, it is so efficient that it makes twenty seconds seem like an unbearable waste of time. My computer is awful. I turned it on fifteen minutes ago and I have just gotten to my blog. I wish that we didn't have computers or the internet. In fact, I wish we didn't have electricity at all. I wish that we had to read Wikipedia by candlelight just as our forefathers once did.

The walls of my room are really awesome. They're covered with really awesome posters including, but not limited to, two official movie posters from Harkins itself (Get Smart and the X-Files), a poster of Stephen Colbert's portrait that hangs over his mantle which is that of Stephen Colbert standing in front of his mantle where a portrait hangs, and a six foot tall maroon poster with the cover of the Barenaked Ladies album Maroon on it. The rest of the stuff on my walls is a jumble of things that have to do with Harry Potter and theatre.

This has been one of those days in which the title of my entire blog really reflects my feelings. I can't seem to make my mind up about anything lately. I'm surprised I even follow my routine anymore. I've been phoning stuff in for a while now. This includes this blog. I haven't done my best to make these posts as good as I'd like them to be.

And on that note,

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Relax People

Okay, so of the five or six people who actually read my blog, absolutely none of them are any of the people I will speak about in the following post. However, just in case they know the people about whom I will speak, I will not use these people's names. This is simply so that I can say whatever the heck I want about them without fear of repercussions.

Dude, chill out. I get it, you're excited. You should be excited. This is exciting. It's just not that exciting. I know, I know this is a new thing for you. But seriously, if you keep up with all of this excitement, than the rest of us are giong to get so sick of you that you will then no longer be excited about this. So calm down. It isn't that big of a deal.

Alright you are insane. You are being ten times more annoying than that other guy. I have come to dread the sound of your voice because when I hear it I know you are nearby and will soon begin to annoy me. And please, stop trying to be funny because you aren't. You are simply an idiot. This can't be helped at least, not right away. But, you could always choose to be a silent fool. I highly suggest it.

Now to everyone out there, relax people! Stop getting so freaked out or excited. It's okay to not be the center of attention all of the time. Also, don't sweat the little things. You are giving yourselves ulcers. Take a deep breath. Good, now stop worrying and enjoy life.

Surprisingly sticking to the subject,
Simon (alliteration)

Monday, August 9, 2010

Ugh Dent!

As I lie awake at night contemplating all of the things I like and dislike about people and the world, I find myself coming back to one thing. My middle finger on my left hand. It would seem perfectly normal if you didn't look at it closely. But if you did, you would notice that it does not have a rounded top. In fact, it has a dented top. Stupid guitar playing has warped my finger! Okay, so it is kind of cool. But, it is also really annoying. I mean, I'm not going to stop playing guitar just because of my weird finger dent so, I am cursed to have a freaky finger forever. Well, maybe not forever. Probably until I am an old man and have arthritis so I can no longer play guitar.

Computer Solitaire is infuriating. I have plateaued at the skill level in which the kind of Klondike where you can flip over the deck is too easy and the other kind is too hard. Therefore, I am forced to either be bored playing the easy kind or frustrated playing the difficult kind. I am thinking about cheating on Klondike with FreeCell.

 Facebook is really stupid. I mean, I don't know why I have one exactly. I'm too addicted at this point to quit but, I still think it is an idiotic waste of time. Anyone with whom I wished to stay in touch I could call or text. At the same time, I can't stop getting on it.

The day before Yom Kippur is called Erev Yom Kippur by the way. On this day, one will atone for the sins done to other men.

I would make an awful Tibetan Monk. This is mostly due to the fact that I have a personal vendetta against all bugs. If I happen to see a bug I consider it not only my right but my duty to kill it. And yes I get it, bugs are important. Without x bug we would be overrun with y bug and without y bug hippopotamuses wouldn't be clean or something. And of course, that would spell our demise.

"Are you ignorant or just apathetic?"
"I don't know and I don't care."


Sunday, August 8, 2010

Call It.

So, I've started watching the television show House. I don't know if I like it yet. It's on T.V. all of the time so I kind of have it on in the background as I am doing other things. One thing I have always loved about television doctors is that scene in every hospital show where the doctor who tries so hard to resuscitate the patient but eventually gives up says the very dramatic, "Call it," to one of the other doctors. It was great the first time and every time I see it, it gets better. If I ever die in a hospital I want some doctor with a god complex to try to resuscitate me and eventually give up and say the famous, "Call it."

Guys with beards run in packs. I think it's because a guy with a beard looks really out of place next to a bunch of guys without beards. So, either the other guys think, "Wow, that guy with a beard looks good. Maybe I should grow a beard," or the guy with a beard looks for other guys with beards to hang around with.

Sometimes, I wonder if I really enjoy reading a good book more than reading an awful book. You see, when I read a good book I get really into it. I picture all of the things going on with perfect clarity because of the ability the author has to paint a mental picture. When I am apart from that good book, I think about what might happen next. And mostly, a good book simply keeps me occupied.

However, an awful book provides it's own form of entertainment. Granted, I would only want to read bad books in moderation. It can't be said that they don't paint a picture. It's just, the picture it paints is typically distorted and strange. It's an abstract painting. Of course, abstract artists might find that comparison insulting. Awful books do keep me occupied. Although, it's typically because I spend so much time laughing about them.

I'm callin' it,

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Looking Forward To It

Old people have it made. They get to sleep in because they don't have work. It is easy to justify eating whatever the heck you want because if you've made it that far you might as well. Also, they can say or do anything they want without being afraid of being judged because, "Grandma/Grandpa just says things like that." Honestly, I can't wait. I mean, they annoy everyone around them no matter what they do so, why not do whatever is easiest and most fun? The good thing is, it all balances out. My Nona and Papa annoy me to no end with their "quirkiness" and I'm sure that, fifty years from now, my grandchildren will feel the same way.

Weird unrelated thing that in no way is a tangent since, as I said before, it is unrelated: According to the commercial, EHarmony asks the question, "Are you self aware?" If you aren't, how would you know?

Okay, Jennifer Aniston is still attractive. She looked weird in that movie she was in with Gerard Butler but, she looks better now. Still not as good as she did when she was Rachel but, that was like ten years ago.

Somehow, I don't think real doctors get as involved in their patients lives as the ones on T.V. do. I could be wrong (Theoretically of course. It's never actually happened) but, doctors seem less caring in the real world. I don't mean to offend anyone who is currently a doctor, wants to be a doctor, or is related to one or something. I'm sure there are great doctors out there. Just, not as seen on T.V.


Friday, August 6, 2010

Left Hook

I think I am a political masochist. If that's even a thing. I am a very conservative republican and yet, I constantly surround myself with people and programs that are very liberal. First off, we have my Mom. Now, this one is less of a choice on my part than it is requirement of our law. However, whenever we have a political discussion I am the one to instigate it. Next up, West Wing. One of my favorite television shows of all time. For those of you who don't know, it is a show about fictional White House staffers. The president and nearly all of the staffers are liberal democrats. You would therefor think, that a republican like myself would not enjoy it but, I do. And last, but not least, we have John Stewart and Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA. Two of the funniest guys on the planet. Also, two very liberal men whose comedy is usually at the expense of the republican party either as a whole or individuals within it.

Perhaps I'm not a masochist, perhaps I simply enjoy being contrary. Maybe, the reason I do all of this is so that I can satisfy the urge to crate argument and debate. I might be doing all of this simply to fight with others and to come up with arguments against myself..

Short: yes
Off Topic: no
As Good As Tomorrows Will Be: of course not


Do Things That Sound "Boaty"

Here's the deal, yesterday I was wiped out. So, I made a really short post that awesome people (i.e. people who actually read my strange blog) might have thought was funny. So, to make up for my humor and laziness at the same time, I will now regurgitate my day and strange thoughts in the form of a blog post.

My day began, as any good day begins, with a phone call from one of my good friends at four thirty in the morning. I didn't answer for obvious reasons. After recovering from that, I proceeded to get ready for school. Then I went.

Openly racist people are pretty stupid. I mean, they are a dying breed but, there are still some out there. It may seem as though the fact that there are fewer openly racist people is a good thing but, it just means more people are hiding their bigotry instead of broadcasting it. It is still mind boggling that there are people who are openly prejudiced. Do they really think that anyone who doesn't already agree with them is going to take them seriously? I guess the lack of thought put in to being openly racist really makes my point for me.

When pretending to speak on the phone, is it normal to use your thumb and pinky or forefinger and pinky? Someone brought this question to my attention today and it has been bothering me immensely. I have seen both used and never really thought anything of it. Is it some sort of regional thing. Does everyone use forefinger and pinky in Iowa or somewhere and the rest of us who do it normally just get confused by their approach?

Well, they can't all be winners,

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Schrodinger's Post

This blog post existed until you looked at it.

(I know this is lame but it's late and I will post twice tomorrow)

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


Today, I had a near-death experience. At least, by my barometer... I was pitted against my peers in a vicious battle of wills. We played knee-jousting. Okay, a few things need to be explained. It isn't actually a form of jousting, it's actually a lot closer to a mixture of fencing and a thumb-war.

Weird Tangent- Mattress Firm is having a "Back to School Sale," for the next week. Why?

So back to knee-jousting. The object of the game is to hit your opponent's knee with your fingers which you use as a sword. After we had played one-on-one for a while, we broke into two teams and had a kind of "war". So there I was, in the heat of battle, staring into the eyes of mine enemy. And we kept staring. We didn't move. We laughed a couple of times but, that was it. We barely moved whilst our comrades-in-arms fell by our sides. Then I broke it and attacked. She won. It was fun though.

If any of you were wondering what kids do in school nowadays, this is it.

Ending my super-duper-quick blog post,

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Street Walker

Just about every day I hit the streets. Okay, not the streets so much as the neighborhood roads. I like to take a nice long walk, listen to some music and lately, die of heat stroke. It is hot outside! So, my walks have become less frequent and much shorter. Despite this, I find myself thinking of weird things on my walks.
For example, Canadians are awesome.

That is not up for debate in case anyone was wondering. The real question here is, why are Canadians so awesome? Well, in my mind it is because they have no pressure. I mean, they get all of the benefits of being American without the crappy part of actually being American. Now I know, I am blessed to be a citizen of this country with all of it's benefits and "Stars-and-Stripes-Forever" or whatever. Let's be honest, Canadians are the ones who are lucky.

Irony is a jerk. I'm not even kidding. Whose side is it on? Just when you think you've got irony figured out, it does something to surprise you. Which I guess should be expected, really.

I like to think of myself as a pretty passive person. Scratch that, I like to think of myself as a pretty passive aggressive person. My Nona and Papa (Grandma and Grandpa) are currently living in our house. Now, I love them. I really do. However, they are absolutely insane and not the cool kind of insane. They are the really, really annoying kind of crazy. They make weird food for dinner and make a huge production number out of it, they have taken over our living room and kitchen, and, worst of all, they have turned our house which used to be spotless into a mess. How do I combat this insanity? I sing a song. Actually, I sing quite a few different songs in a loud and obnoxious manner. I do this while I am in the shower, in my room, and anywhere else. I even do it in the wee small hours of the morning (and to take us back to irony, I usually sing "In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning"). One time, I sang a song called "Sound of Your Voice" as loudly as I could at five o' clock in the morning. The chorus includes the words, "I'll wake up to the sound of your voice," which made it very funny to me. I have realized that the only way I can survive is to live with the philosophy if fighting hair singeing with hair singeing. In other words, to fight passive aggression with passive aggression. I encourage all of you to do the same.


Monday, August 2, 2010

Have a Nice Day

Perfunctory- –adjective: Performed merely as a routine duty; hasty and superficial (i.e. Perfunctory courtesy)

About half the things I say on any given day I don't mean. Well okay, I mean them. I just don't really mean them. It's like when you're at funeral for someone you don't really know and you say, "I'm sorry for your loss," to the relatives who are your friends cousin and they only took you because they didn't want to go. Sure you're sorry for their loss, but you feel just about as much sympathy for them as you do for anyone else who looses someone close to them. And it's not like you are going to go around to everyone who has someone close to them die and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," so you are really only saying it because it is expected. 

You know what is annoying? Attempted profoundness (it's a word I checked). When people say something that in their mind sounds so incredibly insightful that they just have to share it with everyone else. Especially when people do that thing where they turn a statement around. For example, "Don't clean the laundry, let the laundry clean you," or something to that effect. As with so many other things, I blame JFK. After his whole, "Ask not what your country can do for you," thing, everyone thinks that advice is just that easy. It's not.

Well, that's enough ranting for now. On to better things. I am at a weird state of limbo in between having a permit and a license. I have my permit and I have passed my driving test but, I have yet to get my license. Someone asked me if I drive today and it took me about fifteen seconds to come up with a coherent answer.

I forgot how funny Scrubs could be. I mean, back when it was actually funny before J.D. grew a beard and they brought on all of those stupid interns. J.D.'s hair bugs me though.I think I'll end on that note.

Have a nice day (and I'm just saying that perfunctorily),

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Acting Intelligent

I have been told by a fellow nerdfighter about Blog Every Day August. Seeing as how I've never blogged before, I figured that blogging every day for a month was a good way to start. So, let's get crackin'.

Firstly, my name is Simon. Secondly, I am sixteen years old and a senior in high school. Thirdly, I despise anyone who does anything halfheartedly. I hope that I keep up with this BEDA thing so that I don't look like a hypocrite in that respect.

At the moment three things are going on that are very exciting. Number one, a movie called "The Librarian" which I can only assume is a gigantic hoax in which a bunch of famous actors got together and decided to make a really crappy T.V. movie is on. Number two (don't laugh at that), I am listening to the new single by Steven Paige who is one of the best singer-songwriters alive today. Number three, I am living. This is usually happening but, it never stops being very exciting.

A cat food commercial just came on in which I was told not to be fooled by the "big-name cat food brands". Apparently, Meow-Mix does not deliver. 

One thing I never get tired of is people. They are definitely entertaining. I had a driving test the other day that was three hours long. The teacher spent the whole time trying to help me by using words (in the broadest sense of the word "words") like "proactive", "supposably", and "periphanel". I was afraid that if I corrected him or burst out laughing that it might harm my score so I tried to just nod along. However, I have to wonder if I should have corrected him. I mean, it's not his fault he is uneducated. It's really his parents' and teachers' faults. Maybe, others have noticed this during their driving tests and chose not to help him for the same reason I did. Is it really worth a drivers license to allow stupidity to run rampant across the world? Something to think about.

Well, this is my first day of Blog Every Day August.
Don't forget to be awesome everyone,