Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Relax People

Okay, so of the five or six people who actually read my blog, absolutely none of them are any of the people I will speak about in the following post. However, just in case they know the people about whom I will speak, I will not use these people's names. This is simply so that I can say whatever the heck I want about them without fear of repercussions.

Dude, chill out. I get it, you're excited. You should be excited. This is exciting. It's just not that exciting. I know, I know this is a new thing for you. But seriously, if you keep up with all of this excitement, than the rest of us are giong to get so sick of you that you will then no longer be excited about this. So calm down. It isn't that big of a deal.

Alright you are insane. You are being ten times more annoying than that other guy. I have come to dread the sound of your voice because when I hear it I know you are nearby and will soon begin to annoy me. And please, stop trying to be funny because you aren't. You are simply an idiot. This can't be helped at least, not right away. But, you could always choose to be a silent fool. I highly suggest it.

Now to everyone out there, relax people! Stop getting so freaked out or excited. It's okay to not be the center of attention all of the time. Also, don't sweat the little things. You are giving yourselves ulcers. Take a deep breath. Good, now stop worrying and enjoy life.

Surprisingly sticking to the subject,
Simon (alliteration)


  1. Now I am dying to know who each of those people are :)

  2. Love the alliteration. Also, yes, you really did stick to the topic on this post! I guess that happens when your topic is something you feel, um, STRONGLY about :)